With being my first pregnancy, I fell into the routine of feeling tired, lazy, and not wanting to work out. With that, comes emotional eating. With that, comes Chinese! And, further yet, comes bulge. I gained, I believe, 65 pounds. Now, after nearly 4 months after having Sammy, I still have 25 pounds to lose before I am at my wedding day weight. Oh, I miss those days! I'm trying to eat right and work out and surprisingly haven't had much Chinese food since I was pregnant. Neil and I bought an eliptical for upstairs so that I can work out on my down time, without having to leave the house. Thank you, hubby!
I've always been athletic and played sports all of my life. So, sometimes it's hard to look in the mirror and see a much heavier me. But, at the same time, this has taught me a couple things:
1.) Accepting your new mommy body. Things are definitely not the same as they were before. But, surprisingly, I actually feel okay about how I am. I guess when you carry your baby for 9 months, you somewhat take pride in the fact that your body was their home. So, stretch marks and all, you earned your battle scars!
2.) Looks are not everything. Before, I would never leave the house unless my makeup was perfect and my hair was just right. I was slim and could throw on just about anything and it look half way decent (Yet at the time, "Do I look fat in this?" was a routine question. What was I thinking?!) Now, I slap on some Bare Minerals, give my lashes a quick swipe of mascara, throw on some lip gloss and out the door I go with my sunglasses as a headband. And, although I have a pooch and extra weight, I've accepted the way I am and realize now that everyone has things about themselves that are not perfect. There are always things they are wanting to improve or accept, especially us mommy's. I am no different.
3.) I am not a failure because I gained so much weight. This was one thing I really had to do some self-talk with, even now! I would see women who were 9 months pregnant who had a thin little frame and a basketball belly. I'd see women who would gain 25 to 30 pounds and had zero extra pounds anywhere on their body. I'd see women who had babies weeks ago and would be walking around in their size 2 jeans and flat tummy. They all looked phenomenal! And, here I was, a round ball who gained weight on every part of my body. And, even feel fat next to these skinny, pregnant women because I still have baby weight. I felt like a total failure. Then, I'd start to run into women just like me, who gained 50, 60, even 70 pounds. And guess what? They look great! They would laugh at how much they gained and never let that define them. They'd drop most of the weight and were right back to their normal selves. I had to come to realize that gaining a lot of weight during pregnancy did not make me a failure. The weight will come off.
Through this whole journey of becoming a mom comes a whole section of self-acceptance in dealing with my new body. I'm sure lots of you mommy's can relate to this. There are definitely things I'd change and do differently, looking back on it all. But, reality is, I can't. I gained weight. A lot of weight. And now, I have to lose it. Simple as that. All I can do is learn from my mistakes, as well as eating healthy again, working out regularly, and most important...staying away from Chinese food!
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