When we got home, I put Sammy down for a nap on his Boppy next to us. I was so excited to watch the video that we started it the second he started drifting into Dream Land. We were given three DVD's. One that was a 30 minute highlight video that was all of the highlights from the wedding, start to finish. That is the one I was excited about the most! The other two DVD's were the whole ceremony and whole reception.We will watch these tomorrow, or another day when Neil is feeling better. He's getting sick, poor guy.
I put in the hightlights DVD and from the second the video started, all of these emotions and excited feelings that I experienced the day of the wedding all started rushing back! The day of our wedding, I was so anxious. Not the type of anxious, as if I was scared I was making the wrong decision. Anxious and excited to be getting married and experiencing one of God's greatest Sacraments, on top of marrying the one guy I couldn't live this life without. The video was absolutely amazing and brought back so many emotions. I cried more than I thought I would watching it! Watching the smiles and the anticipation and the love was breathtaking. Seeing parents and grandparents and family and friends was amazing. Neil and I watched with huge smiles on our faces! That day was so full of love and happiness. I look at me in my beautiful dress and my slim figure (that I now appreciate, after having a baby!) and see how everything all came together. The hair, the makeup, the dress and all. Everything from the flowers to the cake to the food and dancing turned out better than anyone could ask for. I felt like the most beautiful person in the world that day, and I am lucky to have a husband that tells me the same.
There were so many memorable parts of the video, and one that totally caught me off guard. Well, two! One was absolutely hilarious and will forever be a laugh. My best friend, Courtney, and I were talking before the ceremony and in the clip, she was standing in her dress and was apparently pretty hot. She was, in fact, 6 months pregnant and in a bridesmaids dress. I totally understand! So, next thing you know, she bends down just a bit near the fan and lifts up her underarm to the fan. It was hilarious! I called her immediately after the video and told her of this memorable moment that is forever etched in our wedding memories and we had a great laugh. She always has a way of making me laugh! Love that girl. It was just such a funny situation when you have this wedding video with beautiful music and all of these pretty clips and then you reach such a candid moment. That's what memories are all about! I loved it.
Another part of the video that really caught me off guard was a moment that Neil actually noticed. We had to rewind it for me to see and I was really surprised that it was captured! Our videographer spanned across us and down our hands and actually caught my finger drawing the words "I love you!" in Neil's hand. Neil and I have done this thing, for years, where we write in each other's palms. Whether at the movies, church, or anytime we feel like it. Neil and I were standing in front of the alter, side by side. As he panned down our bodies and near our hands, you can see me writing the exclamation point after "I love you" in his hand. I don't even remember doing that at that moment. But, am so glad something so small was captured.
There were so many parts of that 30 minute video that brought me to tears; Neil talking in the camera before the ceremony about how excited he was to marry me, marrying Neil in front of all of our family and friends, seeing my parents and family and dancing with my dad, and seeing my wonderful grandparents dancing to one of their favorite songs. The whole time I was watching it I couldn't help but look at my life and see all that has happened. I'm sitting on the couch, snuggled up to the best husband a person could ask for, watching our wedding video with our 4 month old baby boy sleeping like an angel. When we met 5 years ago, who would have ever thought that all of this would be our life.
I look at my life and can't help but be overwhelmed with all of the blessings. Neil coming into my life has been more blessings than I could have asked for. To have a husband that shares so many of the same values that I do has made our marriage and relationship what it is today. We've come such a long way in so many aspects of our lives, and over the past 5 years, we've grown into two people who genuinely enjoy and love each other. Our friendship has stemmed from years of trust, love and laughs, and we live every day doing what we believe is right in God's eyes. For those of you that know us, it's clear to see Neil and I couldn't be more perfect for each other. As I said before, he is definitely the Ying to my Yang! Ask anyone who has played Taboo with us. Ha!
Seeing our wedding video came to light all of the feelings of sincere appreciation and amazement at how beautiful our lives are today. Our first year of marriage has been so much fun and so much has happened in a year. When we found out we were expecting Sam, we had been married for one month. When we told everyone we were expecting, we received so many mixed reviews. We received excited congratulations and shocking gasps. I had people look at me like I was crazy and people looking and talking to me like I had done something wrong. One person even asked me, "What, did you forget to take your birth control pill?" How dare you. People may not understand and appreciate what Natural Family Planning means to us Catholics who practice, but we take great pride in knowing that we are open to life and all that God has in store for us. I even had another person, who I deeply regret not saying something to, tell me when I was ten weeks pregnant, "Oh my gosh, are you crazy?" I could, right then, have slapped her in the face. Sad, but true. I'm shocked at how people react to someone having a child so soon into marriage. I don't understand this fear of babies and this fear of having children. There is never a perfect time and you will never have enough money. If you would just let God in control of your life, you will find he knows us better than we know ourselves. No amount of planning could trump what God has in store for us. Having Sam was THE best thing that ever happened to Neil and I. When people say having kids is the greatest, they mean it. I'm not going to fear what God has in store for us.
I look at my life and see so much joy. I have so much love for my family that Neil and I are creating. Right now, I have my sick husband sound asleep in our bed and my beautiful innocent son sleeping in his crib. I see all that I have and all that we have yet to experience. I'm the happiest a person could be. Sometimes, when Neil comes home from a long day, I look at him as I'm holding Sam and get this rush of happiness, almost like a child running to their mommy or daddy after a long day away. In fact, I get that every time I see him or Sammy. My family is my world. I'm so thankful for our present and so excited about our future.
*Our wedding song was Livin' in a Moment by Ty Herndon. It is a beautiful song Neil and I have loved throughout the years, and this gave me the inspiration for the title. Hearing those words that day as we danced at our wedding has been nearly the anthem to our life. To be living in a moment you would die for...*
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